9 Phrases You’ll Never Hear from a Truly Confident, Healed Woman

Before I started my healing journey, I had no idea how much of my language (and the language of everyone around me) was rooted in what I call Negative Energetic Imprints. These are neural pathways, thoughts and beliefs that were laid down during my childhood when my brain was shaped like a sponge and open to absorbing quite literally everything. For me, I was a fairly confident child - good at ballet, good at gymnastics, friends with the cool girls - but I never 100% felt quite ‘enough’. Not quite the best athlete, not quite the coolest or prettiest girl. And over time? For me, these imprints of ‘Not Enoughness’ started to show up as a lifetime of “shoulds”: I should become a lawyer. I should work out intensely to have the “perfect” body. I should prioritise success above all else, even at the expense of my health. I should get my Father to be proud of me.

These repeated thoughts are what I call ‘Negative Energetic Imprints’. These imprints aren’t just passing thoughts. They are neural pathways that have fired so many times, they’ve become the deepest and fastest routes in your nervous system (think of it like the most popular ski slopes on the side of a mountain - deeply engrained into the terrain). Neuroscience shows that repeated firing strengthens these pathways, making them your brain’s default response.

When I began healing, I realised that truly confident people are often running on Positive Energetic Imprints — thoughts like I am enough, I am not too much, Everything is working out for me, If it’s not this it’s something better. Meanwhile, those stuck in self-doubt tend to be firing Negative Imprints without even realising it.

And then? I went deeper. Dr. David Hawkins, PhD, taught us, every thought and emotion has a frequency and every time we think these thoughts, they reverberate through our mind, body and soul. But here is where it gets even more interesting - in quantum physics, no energy is destroyed, it simply changes form. Which means that you can’t just ‘fake it till you make it’.

That means if you want to build real, unshakable confidence, you need to release the old energetic charge from your body. My favourite method for this is somatic shaking, but any nervous system practice that helps you let go of stored fear, shame or self-doubt can work. Once that energy is released, you can then replace it with new Positive Energetic Imprints through neuroplasticity - retraining your nervous system to hold beliefs that naturally lead to confident thoughts, self-assured reactions, and empowered behaviours.This is how your confidence becomes authentic, embodied and effortless.

Nearly 10 years into my own journey, I can tell you there are certain phrases I would never say again. Here are the 9 things you stop saying after healing, and what to say instead.

1. “Sorry, I’m so annoying. Am I annoying?”
Translation: My core wound makes me think I am ‘too much’ and I need you to validate that I’m allowed to take up space with you.
Positive Imprint Replacement: “I do not need to apologise for who I am. I’m worthy of taking up space exactly as I am.” (Practise speaking without apology and letting your body feel safe while being seen.)

2. “Do you hate me / are you mad at me?”
Translation: I abandon my sense of peace the moment someone else shifts their tone. My internal safety is dependent on the experience of another.
Positive Imprint Replacement: “My inner world remains steady, no matter the weather outside of me.” (Practise self-regulation when someone’s energy changes—breathe, ground, and remind your body it’s safe, even if others are in discomfort.)

3. “I know I sound crazy but…”
Translation: I’ve been taught that my emotions are irrational or too much.
Positive Imprint Replacement: “My feelings are valid data from my body.” (Practise acknowledging sensations without judging them.)

4. “This might sound stupid but…”
Translation: I don’t trust my voice, my ideas, or that people want to hear me.
Positive Imprint Replacement: “My voice is important and my authentic express is valuable.” (Practise speaking your ideas in safe spaces and noticing your nervous system’s response.)

5. “I’m just being dramatic, forget it..”
Translation: I’ve gaslit myself before anyone else could.
Positive Imprint Replacement: “I honour my truth, even if others can’t hold it.” (Practise feeling the emotion fully and regulating before deciding what to share.)

6. “I probably misread that, I always overthink.”
Translation: I override my intuition to avoid being ‘too much.’
Positive Imprint Replacement: “My intuition is important and I’m learning to tap into how I perceived this experience.” (Practise pausing before dismissing your gut feeling.)

7. “I don’t know, whatever you think is best.”
Translation: I shrink myself to avoid conflict or rejection.
Positive Imprint Replacement: “My preferences matter.” (Practise expressing small preferences daily to build self-trust.)

8. “I’m sorry for talking so much.”
Translation: I’ve internalised that I’m only valuable when I’m small, quiet, and agreeable.
Positive Imprint Replacement: “My words have worth and my authentic expression is the most important part of me. It’s safe to express myself around people who appreciate my expression” (Practise letting your sentences land without softening or apologising.)

9. “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
Translation: I’ve learned that my needs are inconvenient or invalid.
Positive Imprint Replacement: “All my feelings are welcome here - even the big, messy, uncontrollable ones.” (Practise self-compassion when emotions arise instead of self-criticism.)

Why This Matters

Every single one of these old patterns is a low-frequency imprint often rooted in fear, shame, self-abandonment that gets built as neural pathways, and memories stuck in the body. When you learn how to alchemise these past emotions and experiences that led to this imprint through EMDR therapy, somatic shaking, and movement into high-frequency imprints - love, worthiness, self-trust… you’re not just “thinking differently,” you’re teaching your nervous system to recode to a new baseline, associated with new feelings and emotions. You’re literally rewiring your subconscious to make confidence your default state.

Ready to Never Say These Again?

If you see yourself in these examples, you’re not broken - you’re running an old programme. The good news? We can rewire it. That’s exactly what I guide you through inside Confidence Queen: 7 Days to Self-Esteem—my 7-day journey using psychology, somatic healing, and energetics to release old imprints and embody magnetic confidence.

👑 CONFIDENCE QUEEN – 7 DAYS TO SELF-ESTEEM 👑

What you’ll get:

• 90-min Masterclass to uncover your hidden confidence blocks

• 7 Days of somatic healing practices (EFT tapping, shaking, breathwork, visualisation) specifically created to rewire confidence

• Email rewiring series to integrate your transformation

Imagine walking into every room like the prize you are - without overthinking a single word you say. See you inside!