Is Your Situationship Blocking Your Abundance?
When I started somatic healing, everything in my life began to speed up and change. Within months, not only had I started to heal my chronic pain disorder of 2 decades that Doctors had told me was going to be lifelong, incurable and 'something that I just had to live with’ but I also met the healthiest man I’ve ever had the honor of being in love with. But at the same time, I was also faced with another guy as another option - a high-chemistry, high-adrenaline connection that made me feel so alive, but echoed all my old patterns: chasing a man, desperately wanting him to love me, pick me, and choose me and to wonder ‘what if’, when he did.
Suddenly, I could see it clearly: how much energy I had lost over the years focusing on men outside of me, curating myself to be more palatable, prettier, sexier, hoping they would choose me. Without realizing it, the male gaze had been dictating how I showed up in the world and online. My body, my looks, my lifestyle, all covered up the internal belief that I didn’t feel that special. But the moment I started somatic healing, I could see my nervous system was running the show.
I began to understand the emotionally unavailable men weren’t giving me real love; they were giving me adrenaline, cortisol, and dopamine hits that kept me looping in cycles my inner child craved. Short, sharp hits of feeling ‘enough’ before being left empty, alone, high and dry again. As I deepened my work as an Integrative Health Practitioner, Somatic Healer, and someone deeply curious about spirituality, I realized that we all have a life force, and where we invest it defines the outcomes of our future, both in the short, mid and long term of life.
And for most of us? Before we do the work, we give that life force away far too easily.
This week, I saw this happening live. One of my best friends ended a situationship with a guy who was clearly not the right man for her. She knew that herself, too, but admitted how good it felt that someone who had hurt her a decade ago had come back and show interest again. She was intrigued to see if he had changed or if things might end differently this time. But when he became inconsistent, it started to hurt (again). She knew what she had to do, but she didn’t yet take the leap to cut the chord, to cut the die. He did. He texted her after weeks of silence, pulling the plug.
And the next day? She woke up with $2000 in her bank account. You can’t write it! This is the exact case study that shows when her life force was returned back to her, when she stepped into realignment, things started flowing again. But to understand the why behind this happening, we need to explore:
Life Force Energy
Energy and Intention
Energy Leaks vs. Energy Magnets
How Situationships Drain Your Energy
Why Draining Relationships Keep You Stuck in Survival Mode
How to Stop Leaking Energy
How Daily Rituals Can Help You Call Your Energy Back
First, What Is Life Force Energy?
Your life force is the energy that runs through you. It is your soul, your spirit, your essence. It’s you without needing to do anything. It’s the current that animates every cell in your body, powering every heartbeat, every breath, every micro-vibration of your mitochondria. Science shows every cell in your body is vibrating. You are not a fixed object; you are energy in motion. Which means at any moment you can choose: to add to your energy, to suppress it, or to redirect it. Where you focus determines what grows, what flows, and what gets blocked or undernourished.
Energy and Intention: The Water Study
Intention matters. Where you focus matters even more. Dr. Masaru Emoto’s famous water experiment proved this: when people directed loving words, thoughts, and music toward water, frozen crystals formed beautiful, harmonious shapes. When exposed to negativity, the crystals fractured and looked chaotic. Your body is up to 70% water. Every word you speak, every thought you think, every person you pour energy into, shapes your internal world. You’re programming your vibration with what you invest in. And in today’s world, we’re constantly engaging with others: friends, family, colleagues. Many of these interactions unintentionally drain our life force.
Energy Leaks vs. Energy Magnets
To better understand who and what might be ‘taking our energy’ we need to understand the concept of Energy Leaks and Energy Magnets.
I remember once, when I was considering going into business with a hypnotherapist, she made a poignant comment: “You have to have your energy in check, because otherwise your energy will spill into mine.” That hit me. It reminded me that when we collaborate, date, or even just spend time with people, our energy fields intertwine. If I’m dysregulated, carrying stress, or leaking my life force, it doesn’t just stay with me - it impacts the other person too. And the same goes in reverse. Everyone we interact with is an energy leak or an energy magnet.
Energy magnets are people places or things that multiply your flow. They show up as aligned relationships, nourishing practices, and inspiring work. They feel expansive. They make you excited, hopeful, and alive. You know the difference because when you leave those conversations or practices, you feel lit up, not drained.
Energy leaks happen when you share or exchange life force with people, habits, or environments that deplete you. This might look like engaging in unnecessary drama, fighting to be understood, chasing people, or trying to control outcomes. It’s your ego running the show, not your soul.
How Situationships Drain Your Energy
Now, situationships are dangerous because misaligned people can give us short-term dopamine and adrenaline hits. Our inner child feels chosen, seen, wanted, for a moment. But deep down, we know it’s not right. That doesn’t mean the connection is meaningless; you can still learn lessons along the way. But if you keep pouring into people who:
Don’t expand you
Are inconsistent
Activate your subconscious wounds
Keep you stuck in scarcity loops
…then you’re leaking life force into something that takes you away from your highest purpose.
Why Draining Relationships Keep You Stuck in Survival Mode
Misaligned relationships aren’t just emotionally exhausting; they dysregulate your biology:
Overthinking / overanalysing of their behaviour → constant mental loops of “what do they mean?” are stressful and energy depletive
Overactive DMN (default mode network) → the brain’s self-criticism circuit fires up, allowing us to not focus on anything other than why they’re not texting us back
Stress hormones → cortisol and adrenaline keep you in fight-or-flight, taking us out of ‘flow state’ or our ‘regulated baseline’
Nervous system dysregulation → you can’t expand, grow or sustain the future version of you when your body thinks it’s unsafe to do so. A dysregulated nervous system will always contract you back.
Survival mode prioritizes short-term safety, not long-term vision. When you’re pouring into the wrong person, your abundance flow is paused.
How to Stop Leaking Energy and Call Your Life Force Back
Sharing energy with someone can often lead to there being a shared energetic tie. And cutting ties isn’t just about boundaries. It’s about redirecting your life force back into yourself.
This is where self-worth comes in. If you carry wounds of shame or low self-esteem, you might accept any attention, even when it drains you. The work isn’t just about reclaiming energy; it’s about standing firmly in your worth, choosing not to be an option, and taking decisive action that reflects your value. When you do, life opens.
My Favorite Ways to Call My Energy Back
Shifting your state doesn’t always require a complete life overhaul. Simple daily rituals can redirect your flow and remind your nervous system: you’re safe, powerful, and magnetic.
Somatic Shaking – Shake until your body says thank you. This discharges stress hormones, clears fascia tension, and activates your own life force. Even better, set an intention before shaking to release any energy that isn’t yours. This will make you feel alive, and remind you of your own power - with or without them.
Walking – Each step creates tiny electrical charges (piezoelectricity) while oxygenating your cells. Morning light walks regulate circadian rhythm and boost serotonin. You rebuild energy even after giving it away, and at any moment of any day, you can create your own energy, for you, outside of your relationship with them.
Hot Shower – A hot shower is an energetic as well as physical cleanse. Visualize the hot water rinsing away moods, projections, or energy or attachment that isn’t yours. For extra reset, end with 30 seconds of cold water.
Before-Bed Chord Cutting – A nightly reset. Before sleep, ask the universe to release everything blocking your path. Visualize cords dissolving. Feel yourself returning fully to your center. Sage your room to clear the space so your dreams work with what’s yours, not what’s draining you.
Curate Your Energy, Reclaim Your Flow
Your energy is your most valuable resource. It is the foundation of everything you build, attract, and experience in this lifetime. Without it, even the best strategy, the right relationship, or the perfect plan will feel heavy, misaligned, or unsustainable. With daily decisions, you can learn to protect your energy, direct it inward, and then dial it up and amplify it - so it becomes magnetic and unstoppable. You get to choose who you share your energy with and where you invest it. Every time you stop leaking into people and patterns that drain you, you reclaim power and reclaim potential and that reclamation is not small. It’s what creates space for your true potential. It’s what puts you back in alignment with why you’re here on this earth: to expand, to express, and to live from your highest self rather than from old wounds.
Your nervous system holds the key to this. When you regulate, flow returns. When you come out of your mind and into your body, flow returns. That is when you start to be able to identify what is a FUCK YES and what is a FUCK NO.
If you’re ready to channel your energy back into yourself, join us inside Daily Devotion—my somatic wellness app. Explore walking rituals, somatic shaking, breathwork, premium nervous system tools, and energy reset practices that help you get back into flow fast. Your potential is waiting for you.
→ Redeem your free 7 day free trial of Daily Devotion, available on Apple & Android.
